But I dont see anything in the letter that means he must be. Placement deals with where they are physically. Thats my advice. Women dont have to choose between the two both are within their purview. You can get pregnant on birth control! But then it really IS all about needless solidarity on here as of late to be sure. Here 13 common reasons guys start missing and try to go back to their ex. Now, I want to believe him, but in my rightful mind I know I will be so dumb to buy all that he is say. Men abandon and fail to pay for children constantly. I think the LW and her ex would do better to break up for good. This isnt about a child who has been born and who has needs. 1) Like it or not, men have one point where they can decide whether or not to risk becoming parents (ie before sex, they choose the degree of risk based on what, if any, precautions they take). I understand that there are many times when adoption is the best choice. April 10, 2012, 7:21 pm. Seriously, this makes my blood boil. she's a real bitch. He can just disappear forever for all I care. Welcome.In todays video I PRANK MY GIRLFRIEND !I GOT ANOTHER GIRL PREGNANT PRANK ON GIRLFRIEND.
My husbands 2 month affair has ended with his girlfriend being pregnant Sad that the life you thought was going to happen when you got back with the BF is going to get messier? I had no idea. Not your body, not your choice. Many women become habituated to the hormone regimen and begin ovulating again, even while on the pill. So, she went out, hooked up with someone she knew briefly (which a lot of people do) and accidently got pregnant. He didnt expect that to happen. All we know is that she wants to have the baby- maybe because shes prepared to be a wonderful parent. It is due to his own stupidity if he thought that a single sexual encounter could not produce a child, that birth control pills would definitely prevent him from impregnating someone or that he could legally opt out if a pregnancy occurred. Regardless, this guy obviously doesnt seem like anyone you want to be in a relationship with. When you give your child up for adoption, you are giving him or her to people who really want a child and are prepared financially and emotionally to give that child support. April 9, 2012, 12:55 pm, Im sure there are many, many women who would argue that its not all rainbows and butterflies in attaining child support. and our You are arguing for NO abortion in cases of rape.. By clicking Subscribe Now, you agree to our, Find out why Dr. Sherry has this message for this scorned woman: You are being played with a capital "P!, The Single Married Woman: True Stories of Why Women Feel All Alone in Their Marriages. This is so hard for me. You dont ask women to have abortions unless youre scum. Furthermore, men should be held at least halfway responsible for the resulting pregnancy and child but should have no authority to decide upon his involvement, even though consensual sex involves both people equally. April 10, 2012, 11:39 am, Im NOT saying she should abort, just that shes an idiot & she shouldnt expect a one-night stander to suddenly be a father. Thank God for the real men. Im not exactly sure that the one million people currently estimated to be living in the U.S. would agree with you, but I am fairly certain the 500,000 dead definitely wouldnt. I just felt a huge blow of betrayal because I was waiting for him to talk to me again. The letter writers bf is furious at the woman having his child. I think its dispicable that you would consider re-uniting with a man that thinks his only obligation as a father is financial support. The adoption process has a pretty involved vetting procedure- meaning that birth parents can reasonably assume the child will be cared for by the adoptive parent or parents. If she does your boyfriend will deal with the aftermath of having sex without a condom. I think hes scum because hes furious with the girl he impregnated. The NBA star is reportedly expecting his third child with personal trainer Maralee Nichols, per The Daily Mail. I vehemently disagree when it is not in that order. , CatsMeow He's got to focus on his ex and tell himself she wants to be with him and not the other man in the long run. But, it would have reduced the chances. Just sayin. Because she does not have the right to waive support for the child. At the point where he had options he chose one that could result in a pregnancy. Everyone seems to assume he didnt use a condom, but nothing in the letter says that. Neither are the kids, but thats beside the point where feminism is concerned, right?, And dont worry, my sons will have the good sense to stay away from your daughters.. Any complications from the abortion would be hers to bear, not his. God, Im so glad someone else thought of that word when reading this letter because Ive used that word exactly three times in my life as an insult, and yet I couldnt quit thinking it. I do believe that many accidental pregnancies are not so accidental, but that is all the more reason for people who engage in casual sex, and are dead set against having kids, to do everything in their power to avoid having them! I highly doubt that he wouldve slept with her if he knew how incompatible they are prior to bedtime. So while you were on a break he had unprotected sex with just her or other people too? But theres a huge amount of anger here over the fact that he didnt, even though theres no statement by the LW either way. Im not saying I think he should get any sort of say in it, but why are we so quick to deride his emotional response to an accidental life-altering event that, in his mind, could have been corrected, but isnt going to be due to someone elses decision? But in cases where a woman chooses to bear a child against the wishes of the father, the reciprocal obligation is less concrete. Its very unfair. Sounds like he found something easy, and easy cost a lot.money and happiness. April 10, 2012, 5:35 pm. April 9, 2012, 5:52 pm, Sounds to me like your sister isnt so much unlucky, but a liar. Shes also calling him a troll because he likes to show up only for these types of letters when he can tell DW commentators that we are all obviously wrong and from the she-women man hating club. They probably hang out for a few weeks more, she kind of gets on his nerves for whatever reason and starts to bug the shit out of him. I have a really hard time believing that this guy who hates this woman and wants nothing to do with this child had a civil conversation with the baby mom discussing their options, while stating his preference for an abortion. Then how does the woman get off requiring the man to do it? But in that case, taking the pill you know that youre supposed to use a back up method while on ATB. I thought you were disputing the comments about it being not that contagious by disclosing that you were HIV positive. I would MUCH rather this guy walk away now then be stuck with a screaming baby he doesnt care for and end up throwing it off a bridge. datechguy Our resident male troll is back and defending his gender. Having placement, on the other hand, does, and what Im saying is that when it comes down to where are the kids going to stay, in situations where everything else is equal, the default position is still with the mother in most courts, with the fathers visitation dependent on how close to equal the two parents are. He doesnt have to have a relationship with her, but like it or not, if hes a real man, he will be there for HIS child, and even his ex. This man seems to be both irresponsible and immature so be glad you can move on and not be stuck with him. And if your original point was that gay men are smart enough to use condoms but that heterosexual couples seem too dumb to do so, that 1M number implies youre wrong. What should I do, View related questions:
Which includes emotional support, not just financial. Id rather him be honest and bow out now then be in and out or in as a lousy, forced parent. You really have no idea what child support means. Okay, Tim. You mean, a man shouldnt be able to decide to throw money at his child, but never once be involved whatsoever in the childs life? My point is if you dont want kids there are always ways to prevent that he chose not to and now he can deal with the consequences. You have to grow up and stop this childish immature desiring for a man who keeps you hanging around. I think it is unfair that the man cant have sex without the possibility of becoming a parent, but the woman can. ele4phant April 10, 2012, 5:49 pm. If you dont like someone (as a fellow human being), dont have sex with them. Abortion is incompatible with compelled child support. Maybe she doesnt to be with your boyfriend, perhaps she just wants him to be there for the baby as a father. I know, right? reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): A
Any 40 year old man thats in the habit of jumping into bed with a woman who claims shes on BC after knowing her for 2 min is so dirty, Id be afraid to touch him much less get back in a relationship with him. If someone ahead of you slams on their brakes because they want to read a billboard and you hit them, Id guess youd be not be upset, because its your fault and youre aware that cars ahead of you can stop at any point. A mans legal obligation to support his children is not some well hidden secret and nowhere is it mentioned that hes being asked for anything more. April 10, 2012, 6:28 pm. Its a double standard. And they seem to have a lot of time on their hands. My above reenactment was not a true depiction of the dialogue I believe took place. Stop being a whiny spectator in your own life. However, RR, Ill assume that every time youve ever had sex, it has been with someone you wanted in your like as a co-parent and that it was at a time in your life that a child would have been welcomed. Ive done that on a number of occasions. April 10, 2012, 10:56 am, hes angry with the way this has worked out. female
The misogyny is the implication that this somehow makes it easy for a woman. And yet men still keep having sex with us. But cest la vie. He didnt want a baby?
But it is a dickish move to get someone pregnant and then decide youre not going to be involved in that childs life. Turns out that the bout of food poisoning she got after their anniversary dinner and the diarrhea that came with it messed with the effectiveness of her birth control pills. The plain truth is your boyfriend did not think about the consequences of unprotected sex (STDs anyone?) You are the one who is keeping this rollercoaster of a relationship going with him. Which keeps me pretty busy, and Im married to my daughters mother. Its that men should have as much of a say in whether they want to opt into support as do women. Third, I weep for that child. But the important thing for you to know, as the mother of a child who may not ever know their biological father, is that your child wont miss what they never had. Its a great idea, really, for someone who is unfit and probably on the verge of abuse or something else horrible. Women why do we allow men to sleep with us while they are drunk again..my god.I wont say dont continue your relationship but it will be hard. Thanks. I think what you are trying to explain are the two types of custodyover the person and over decision making for the person. So it sounds like the mom here mustve been in a postiion to want and/or raise a child. You may not agree with it, but the laws are such that he is obligated to raise the possible resulting child and/or pay for that child for a couple of decades, if she decides not to terminate the pregnancy. And it wont be you for very long. This poor unborn child who I feel very, very sorry for already, is not the problem. I dont think anyones saying that. The rest of us enjoy it, I think people dont give the blow job enough credit. But even though I led you to think I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to keep the baby and thereby obligate you to two decades of child support, is, while totally within her rights, still a massive breach of the pre-coital understanding, express and implied, between the parties. 3. its up to you wether to stay his friend or not. Am I being selfish if I tell him not to go to the doctors appts and be in the labor room? Its painfully obvious. Its her body, there is a million reasons she might choose to have this child, even if she never so much as speaks to your prince again. And if so, Im ready. Hell of course express things in a way that maximizes the chance of him not doing any more to hurt the LW than necessary. Or, hey, maybe they were both tested, maybe they were both clean, and maybe he believed her, and maybe she actually was on the pill. Everything else aside, most of the guys in this thread are more upset about the sex part than they are about the child out of wedlock part. I think the hes a scum is more about not wanting anything to do with a child that he helped create and trying to brow beat this woman into having an abortion. Nothing in the story suggests that the guy in question was, as you put it, indiscriminate in partner choice and/or birth control. April 9, 2012, 12:13 pm. Iwannatalktosampson
I think that it does, as most have pointed out, take two people to get pregnant. I find it enjoyable to do because it makes him happy, and it turns me on to get him so turned on. Hey Bossip Fam, what do you think? Two are very small, less than six months. April 9, 2012, 4:44 pm. I know you two were on a break but I hope you made him get swabbed for STDs. Hes scum all around in my book. It did say that he was furious at her for not getting an abortion. Dont ever sleep with someone mean or stupid, because if you get pregnant, youre going to be tied to that person for the rest of your childs life. And I was like, Ewww, Mom, thats gross! But it was great advice, and Ive always followed it. It doesnt matter whether he wants to be with this woman or not, your boyfriend made half of this baby and has an obligation to be a father figure to it. But even though I led you to believe I didnt want to become pregnant, Im going to have the baby anyway and thereby obligate you to two decades of support.. Fuck yes, he shouldnt have a choice in that.
But not usually. Youre asking them to have a medical procedure and abort their unborn child. Like if the guy is unconscious or doesnt know how babies are made?